Published December 4, 2005 in the Hibbing Daily Tribune
By Aaron J. Brown
The holidays are here!
For the record: I thought penguins were cool before it was cool.
Last summer’s hit movie “March of the Penguins” introduced millions to the flightless black and white birds. Now everybody loves penguins. And when everybody loves something, somebody makes money.
“March of the Penguins” is a documentary about the trek of emperor penguins across the frozen landscape of Antarctica to their ancient breeding grounds. The birds struggle against harsh elements to raise their chicks and locate enough food to survive. That’s not a recipe for a typical Hollywood hit, but apparently the penguins struck a chord.
I’ve always thought penguins were pretty cool. They’re the only animals that survive Antarctic winters and swim with amazing grace. But penguins are often stereotyped. Dopey penguin TV shows generally do one of two things. Either they play circus-like music while showing penguins falling down, or they make some sort of joke about tuxedos.
For decades, no one took penguins seriously. They were the clowns of the animal kingdom. Granted, penguins are a little clumsy on land, but show me how well a gazelle does at 30 feet below the surface of a frozen sea and we’ll compare. Seldom did we get to see how well penguins could swim.
As far as the tuxedo gag goes, yes, penguins are white on the front and black on the back. However, they have this coloring to avoid being eaten by large, sharp-toothed predators while swimming, not to fit in with some snobby crowd of upper-crust socialites. Isn’t it a tad glib to laugh at someone’s “evening wear” when key members of their family have probably been eaten by lion seals?
Then came “March of the Penguins.” Finally, a full-length movie that gave penguins the respect they deserved. I thought for sure that this would be the beginning of a penguin renaissance. Recent media experiences have proven otherwise.
First off, shortly after the movie became a hit, conservative groups adopted it as a testament to traditional family values. While I appreciate family values as much as the next guy, I don’t like to mix my politics with my penguin documentaries. But this was just the start. Once people figured out that penguins were popular, everyone climbed on board.
Coca-Cola just released their annual polar bear family holiday ad. This year, the baby polar bear meets a friendly penguin chick and they enjoy a Coke. Mmm, Coke. Too bad those animals live in entirely different HEMISPHERES. OK, maybe I’m reading too much into this, but when your third grade science project was about penguins and every stupid kid in the school asked if the polar bears eat the penguins, you get a little crazy. Polar bears are in the artic; penguins live exclusively south of the equator. Every time Big Cola thinks it would be cute to imply otherwise, some other third grader is doomed to my fate.
A new movie preview advertises an animated penguin movie called “Happy Feet” that again plays into the penguin/clown stereotype. One recent Animal Planet show featured a segment on “how to date a penguin” that featured a man wining and dining a female penguin. It was a kids’ show, so nothing got out of hand. Disturbingly, however, the show did reference “first base,” thus implying the possibility of additional man-penguin bases. Again, not helpful to the image of penguins, or men, in the media.
Maybe the reason I’m always pulling for the penguins is because I’m just about as physically coordinated on land as they are. If the penguins have a hidden skill, I must have one too. Unfortunately, my skill isn’t swimming either. Well, it’s out there somewhere. Meantime, let’s put our penguins in perspective.
Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune.