Published Sept. 21, 2008 in the Hibbing
Daily Tribune
The stadium name game
By Aaron J. Brown
By now you’ve probably heard the name of the Minnesota Twins’ new
baseball field slated to open for the 2010 season. The Hubert H.
Humphrey Metrodome, site of World Championships in 1987 and 1991, will
be replaced by Target Field.
Don’t worry folks. “Target Field” is not named as an instruction for
nuclear-armed enemies around the world. (As far as I know). It’s
actually named for its sponsor, the Target Corporation, one of
Minnesota’s largest companies. Target also named the Target Center
where the Timberwolves play and, I presume, one day will name the
Target Choke-iseum where the Minnesota Vikings will one day disappoint
my great-grandchildren. Further into the future, when Target buys Xcel
Energy in order to power their giant red logo on the Target moon, we
will have the Target Energy Centers in St. Paul (the extra “s” being a
long awaited compromise on the non-plural nickname of the Wild).
The point is that within just a couple years, the corporate-named
stadium culture will have fully engulfed our state. Minnesota had
enjoyed something of a respite from all this as the Metrodome was named
for one of our many affable former U.S. Vice Presidents who never made
it to the Oval Office. Unlike other states, we think it’s still pretty
impressive to be nominated. Not everyone gets nominated. Have you been
nominated by your major party for President of the United States? I didn’t think so. I suppose all
good things must come to an end.
Fact is: professional sports teams are more about business than ever.
These teams are investments, and good investments provide the highest
return possible. That’s why a multibillion dollar deal to name the
ballpark after Target is much more lucrative than naming it after
Harmon Killebrew, Kirby Puckett, or, I suppose, Walter Mondale.
It begs a question, though. If our culture allows the naming of our
largest venues of public congregation to be dictated by the highest
bidder, what do we really value? Following this logic, our government
could make close its budget gaps selling ad space on our currency,
naming bridges and roads after oil companies and investment firms. Our
schools would be named for fast food restaurants and inside them our
children would be hooked up to IVs filled with bacon grease and clown
tears. At some point, we’re not just selling space and naming rights,
we’re selling ourselves. Right?
Uh oh. I’ve gone and turned the exciting new Twins stadium into a
bummer. Actually, Target Field isn’t that bad a name. It could be
worse. 3-M is another big Minnesota company. We could have ended up
with “Post-It Park.” Hormel is based in Austin, Minn. They could have
given us “Spam Stadium.” Target Field, if anything, suffers only from
blandness, not insufferable cuteness or corporate skullduggery.
Additionally, unlike Houston’s Enron Field, there is very little chance
that Target will collapse in on itself from energy market speculation.
(As far as I know).
It remains to be seen if Target Field will follow the high concept
visual imagery of Target’s recent television commercials. Perhaps the
new field, like the ads, will feature frolicking well-dressed
attractive people and symmetrical floating jugs of laundry detergent
while recognizable songs are sung by unknown artists. Then again, maybe
the stadium will simply feature red-shirted recent college graduates
selling peanuts, cursing their decision to major in English literature.
That’s the Target I know and love. Either way, it should be interesting.
Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune.
Contact him or read more at his blog, MinnesotaBrown.com.
His new book “Overburden: Modern Life on the Iron Range” will
be released Oct. 14, 2008.
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