Published August 14, 2005 in the Hibbing Daily Tribune
By Aaron J. Brown
In this mass media world, where people absorb millions of persuasive messages in a year, one must always be aware of where information comes from and who pushes it. Thus, I have concluded that some very powerful forces have just recently lined up against flip-flops.
Flip-flops are the sandal-like footwear popular among both young people and old people who are kidding themselves. They used to cost a few bucks, but high-end styles of flip-flops can now cost as much as a nice pair of shoes, and people are buying them up. Which brings me to my theory.
“Big Shoe” is putting its foot down.
Last month, you might have seen extensive media coverage of the Northwestern University national championship women’s lacrosse team. No, not of their sport, or their big win, or even the women themselves. Just their feet. More specifically, what they WORE on their feet when they met the President.
You see, some of the women wore flip-flops … at the WHITE HOUSE. For many, this was a fashion crime so grave that the Code of Gratuitous National Media Repetition, dormant since this spring’s shark attacks, was invoked. Fashion experts, manners experts and, worst of all, moms, united to saturate morning TV shows with a firm rebuke of the casual beach shoe.
Let me step back a moment and explain that I do not own any flip-flops. I associate men’s flip-flops with that slightly overweight guy with the long, curly tinted hair wearing the surfer shirt. There’s one of him stationed on every floor of every college dormitory in America. I don’t want to be that guy. But still, I didn’t quite understand the fervor of anti-flip, anti-flop sentiment on the news.
Just last week, more stories broke that showed me what was really happening. Major networks reported about a study showing that flip-flops could kill you in your car by getting caught on a pedal. A TV sound bite featured a grandmotherly woman saying, “I just hope I don’t ever share the road with someone wearing those flip-flops.” Then foot specialists released a study that said they cause heel pain.
This attack on flip-flops was coming on a little heavy for my taste. Could it be that the shoe industry (“Big Shoe”) is upset that these lower cost flip-flops were harming sales of their much more expensive though equally awkward shoes?
It reminds me of a theory political blogger Ana Marie Cox once discussed on her site, Wonkette. If a politician gets up on the floor of Congress and says something unrelated to the debate without being asked, the opposite is probably true. Thus, if during the debate on transportation funding, a Congressman gets up and says, “I guarantee the Iraq war isn’t about oil,” then you know the war is, at least somewhere deep in his subconscious, about oil. You could say the same thing when you hear an elected official say, “This isn’t about politics,” for any reason. Yes it is. That’s why they say that.
It’s like this in the media. If you see a huge pile of unusually heavy scorn for something as seemingly benign as brightly colored summer footwear, you should suspect what you hear.
The flip-flop assault follows a classic model. First, heap on social scorn against flip-flops (“Your mother will cry if she sees you wearing them”). Then go with the standard “something inanimate and in your home right now will soon kill you” (eg: flip-flops). If Osama bin Laden is wearing flip-flops in his next video, you know “Big Shoe” is pulling out all stops.
Come to think of it, I think bin Laden was wearing flip-flops in his LAST video. “Big Shoe’s” footprints are all over this one.
Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune.