Published June 25, 2006 in the Hibbing Daily Tribune
By Aaron J. Brown
We live in a stressful world. The high expectations of modern society create anxiety not known by our ancestors. For instance, your great-great-great-great grandfather Hiram was not concerned that the Internet was down. He did not worry about his kids’ gymnastics or hockey practices because gymnastics was a dark art performed only by low women and hockey was reserved for odorous dock workers with odd accents. His worries were more primal – namely the threat of war with the Ottoman Empire, the rising tide of immigrants poised to take his job at the telegraph station, and cougars.
Fortunately, we’ve solved all of Hiram’s problems (right?), but have replaced them with new stressors. Now we must worry about the lack of cell phone reception, computer viruses and mandatory seminars about the proper way to conduct seminars. That’s why you can’t walk into a bookstore without a stress management book leaping from the shelf onto your face like Saran Wrap in a strong wind. Daytime television commercials tout drug after drug promising to fell the twin titans of stress and belly fat. The amount of stress relief theories out there is, well, just plain stressful.
It’s easy to let the stress take over your life, but I’ve come up with a theory after watching my son Henry. He just turned one last month. When you’re one, any stress you feel is based on simple needs. If we adults could boil our stress down to these baby-oriented categories, we might be better off.
FOOD: Henry eats very similar things every day. Sure, his variety has widened now that he’s older, but breakfast in particular is pretty much some combination of oatmeal and pureed fruit. The only real difference from one day to the next is the speed and delivery. Henry is all about customer service. A good day is when the food appears promptly and makes entertaining helicopter noises on its merry way into his mouth. A bad day is when he has time to think about why the food isn’t here yet. The next meal is always the most important meal. All he knows is that sometimes mom or dad and drive away and that it’s possible we might leave without him, or worse yet, leave without FEEDING him. So he focuses. He doesn’t count carbs. He doesn’t ask about trans-fats. If the food is there, life is good.
TOYS: Henry occasionally feels toy stress. He’s got a plastic box filled with blocks of differing shapes. The top of the box has corresponding openings that match the shapes. Parental social circles would have you believe that if your child can put the blocks in the correct holes earliest, he or she will enjoy a life of comfort and prestige. If not, your child just might be placed in a vocational program to become a live helmet tester. Anyway, Henry becomes stressed when the star-shaped block fails to fit into the circle-shaped hole, until he realizes that the box top can be removed and tossed across the living room. Innovation!
NAPS: Grownups don’t think much about sleep. Sure, we like it, but most of us get less than we should. Maybe we feel pressure to get up early or squeeze a few more hours of work, chores or TV into our evenings. Perhaps we fear the return of the evil clown to our dreams. Whatever the case, Henry usually sleeps like a rock, even though he often resists the onset of sleep. Little kids are a bit like wind-up toys that way. They won’t stop when they’re running. If you try to stop the little legs on a wind-up toy, it will make an ungodly screech, like if a lizard got sucked into a drinking straw. Henry makes a similar, albeit louder noise right before he falls asleep. Sometimes he’ll struggle and squirm through his nightly story and holler at full volume when we lay him in the crib. But, after just a few seconds, he’s out cold. See, whether awake or asleep, he’s committed to what he’s doing.
So there are my Henry-inspired stress tips. Be glad you have food. Find unique solutions to problems. If you’re awake, make the most of it.
Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune.