Published May 27, 2007 in the Hibbing Daily Tribune
It must be a pretty big problem because everyone is talking about this missing quality time. Things are so different now than they were in the good old days, when families spent entire days together playing games, singing songs and hoping that no one would get polio. Things sure have changed. We’ve got vaccines and most kids have too much to eat. But we’ve also got a quality time problem.
I know this because I saw on the news the other day that Hasbro, one of the biggest board game producers in the world, is making “express” versions of its games. Monopoly, Scrabble and Sorry take too long for the time-deprived family. So these new express versions promise a game span of just 20 minutes. That’s less than a sitcom with all the commercials Tivo’ed out.
It doesn’t take much more than half an hour of watching the morning news shows to see a segment on overscheduled kids. Some kids own day planners thicker than their thighs. Their parents must hose off the minivan to keep it from bursting into flames of overuse. Those same parents work longer hours and the most common family activity is the silent viewing of reality entertainment programs that are neither real nor especially entertaining. I don’t know that 20-minute Monopoly will solve that problem, but it shows the market pressure.
Incidentally, the express games rely heavily on dice. Instead of the methodical property acquisition we all remember from Monopoly, the dice determine your holdings in one fell swoop. Metaphorically, this makes the game player less like a self-made tycoon and more like the spoiled child of a recently deceased billionaire. No word on whether parachute clauses are part of the new rules. I’m betting that game makers also avoid the subject of estate taxes.
If board games become “Board Games Express!” then perhaps other time consuming aspects of family life can join in. Will we next see “Marriage Express?” Here’s how it could work:
WIFE: You bury yourself in you work. I don’t know you anymore.
HUSBAND: To the dice! (Dice shake, then roll) A-ha! We have learned to cherish each other again!
WIFE: I stopped loving you a long time ago.
HUSBAND: Back to the dice!
I imagine it would work the same for children:
KID: Daddy, why did mommy leave? Will you leave?
DAD: To the dice! (Dice shake, then roll) A-ha! We went to the zoo! You understand the complexities of adult relationships!
KID: I’m sad.
DAD: You roll this time.
I don’t mean to knock these new board games. They simply respond to a changing world. But before you get hung up on the term “quality time,” ask yourself if there is such a thing as quality time or just the good use of regular time.
I just rolled the dice. They agree with me.
Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune.