Published April 16, 2006 in the Hibbing Daily Tribune
By Aaron J. Brown
A recent AP poll indicated that 74 percent of Americans say they encounter swearing in public. Sixty-four percent say they use the dreaded f-word at least occasionally. From this, I imagine that 10 percent often exclaim, “Why, I declare!” but that’s only my guess.
The study suggests that swearing is becoming more commonplace these days, with more people hearing and saying words I can’t write here.
Many blame television, but I didn’t learn my swear words from TV. I learned one swear word after my grandma dropped a lasagna when I was 5. I picked up the rest on the school bus. Swear words have their meanings and their place. Show me someone who drops a casserole and says “darn it” and I’ll show you a person who lives a life of quiet desperation. (And spare me your clean but angry letters on this subject; this is merely my impression).
By the same token, many overuse and abuse swear words – using the F-word as noun, verb, adjective, adverb, and sometimes even as an article or conjunction. These same folks often mistake public restaurants and schools for their own living rooms, thus unleashing their salty language on others.
The AP swearing study indicated that age was a major factor in the disapproval of profanity. I have to admit, though I’m still too young to run for certain federal offices, my tolerance of needless profanity has dropped recently. Could this be age related?
Just the other day I was looking at the Minnesota Twins’ opening day roster and realized that I’m the same age as Johan Santana. Until now I’ve comfortably assumed that people who were really good at things, such as sports or acting, were always just slightly older than me. This gave me hope that sometime soon I would become a movie star or develop a good fastball. No more. I will never pitch for the Twins. Granted, the way it’s looking I could probably bat for the Twins, but who wants the pressure of being their only power hitter?
Then I looked around. I have a “traditional” family. I have a “traditional” house (the rectangle kind, complete with mortgage). I even have a “traditional” dog (who balances her time in “traditional” ways between sleeping and barking). I now realize, using elementary playground standards, I am “an old dude.” And yes, I know many of you are older than me, so spare me the “listen here, sonny” letters you’ve begun writing in your head (unless they include an especially amusing assortment of profanity).
My policy on swearing resembles the food pyramid. If you were to count all the swear words I said in a year, my profanity could be assembled into a “cussing pyramid.” At the bottom you’d find your “damns” and “hells,” things I might be able to sneak into this column without Brian noticing. I use these fairly often. In the middle you’d find your “after hours” words, the ones you might hear on basic cable. At the top is the F-word, which I believe should only be used in extreme circumstances. For instance, I save almost all my F-word usage for my semi-annual trips to the Twin Cities, and usually burn them off in my car where no one hears me.
Just as with the food pyramid, some people fail to follow the cussing pyramid. They build a giant cussing tower that reaches to the sky. Sure, profanity is just a collection of words, but we should all ask ourselves if we’re really know what these words say about us. Swear words don’t threaten society; people who overuse them do. To those people I say: “Darn you all. Darn you all to heck!”
Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune.