Published March 28, 2004 in the Hibbing Daily Tribune
Those asteroids are at it again.
According to a Space.com article by Robert Roy Britt, a 30-foot asteroid zinged past Earth on March 18. It came within the orbit of many of our weather satellites and a heck of a lot closer than I would like to see my ‘roids.
(Note: I’m just trying out the “’roids” reference. I think I’ll stop that now).
Longtime readers of my column know these things: 1) It takes about four minutes to read this column; 2) you’ll never get that time back; and 3) I’ve already written about the deadly threat of asteroids – twice, I believe. Still, whenever I see media reports about close calls with high-speed space rocks I am compelled to write even more.
Some would say that the droning of a crackpot journalist, unfamiliar with astronomy (I almost typed “astrology”) and only slightly aware of science in general (don’t pour chemicals in the sink, kids; that’s dangerous!) is unneeded. Experts could answer these questions far more knowledgably, perhaps using sources not found on Yahoo.com.
Well, friends, if “experts” were doing their jobs by sending large tin robots to destroy these asteroids with their laser eyes, I could write about something else. Do you see any anti-asteroid robots rocketing into space? ‘Nuf said.
What happens when one of these deadly asteroids finally hits its Earthly target? If the March 18 asteroid had hit land, it could have leveled “a small city,” according to Space.com. If an asteroid like that hits water, then there’s only one word you need to know: tsunami. That’s right, folks. Tidal wave.
When I think of deadly tsunami leveling cities, I usually think of ocean towns, like New York or Miami. But what if one of those nasty asteroids hit Lake Superior? That would be bad news for Duluth, but would the tsunami head north to Hibbing and the Iron Range?
According to a panel of non-experts gathered to eat lunch, “wouldn’t that be something, eh?”
Indeed it would. Thankfully, with most of our Iron Range towns perched on or near the high-altitude Laurentian Divide, much of the tsunami’s strength would be expended somewhere around Cotton. (Call the chamber, I’ve got a new slogan: “Hibbing: Probably immune to an asteroid-induced tsunami,” or perhaps, “Ride the asteroid-induced tsunami to Hibbing for dry land and good times.” What, too glib?)
I’ve fallen into the trap of trying to be funny about the apocalyptic hailstorm of space debris sure to doom us all. Before I get angry letters, let me remind readers that I have built a long and consistent record opposing asteroid proliferation.
Most of NASA’s work has been done to spot civilization-ending asteroids – which could be located more than a decade before they would hit Earth. It’s a lot harder to find the medium asteroids that would merely flatten an average-sized country.
This January, scientists almost woke up the president in the middle of the night to tell him that one of those asteroids could hit Earth in a matter of hours. (Advisors opted to let the president sleep in hopes that the space rock would hit France or “blue” states). Of course, as those monitoring late night astronomy Web sites know, the asteroid missed us – but it was a scary time for about 12 people wearing Star Trek uniforms.
Now is no time to let these rocky space thugs push us around. I’m waiting for my laser-eyed tin robots, and I just might write about asteroids again in two to six months.
Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune.