Published March 20, 2005 in the Hibbing Daily Tribune
Every once in awhile, it’s nice to see other states invest obscene sums of money into animatronic displays at historic mines that once employed actual people.
Not all the time, mind you. We Mesabi Rangers wouldn’t want to lose our competitive edge on the shuttered mine tourism industry. But just enough to gain perspective.
In Kentucky, officials are preparing a former coal mine in Lynch, Ky., to become a tourism hotbed, complete with robot miners, according to an AP story by Roger Alford.
The story I read about this made note of the historical significance of the coal mines in this particular town. Naturally, I can appreciate that. I’m card-carrying member of the Hibbing Historical Society and hold great interest in our unique Iron Range history, much of it related to iron mining. However, I had to cringe when I saw that many of the Kentucky locals quoted in the story believed that the multi-million dollar coal funhouse would “rescue” their struggling town from the depths of economic duress.
I think I’ve seen this movie. I remember having a problem with the ending.
Here in Minnesota’s Iron Range region we’ve learned a few things. First, our unique history deserves attention and preservation. Second, though this is a noble endeavor, it will make us, after expenses and sinkhole setbacks, exactly zero dollars.
Our tourism dollars come from fishing, hunting and the great outdoors. Here in Hibbing, we are best served to use our connections with the arts and athletics to bring people to town. But never forget, though our history is important, people will only pay so much to see robot miners. I think the Kentucky folks will learn this when the Portal 31 mine exhibit opens sometime next year.
The Portal 31 exhibit makes copious references to the animatronic miners in its official materials, as well as in media coverage of the project. If we’ve learned anything from the “Terminator” movie series, it is that we should remain wary of robots forced into a robo-life of robo-labor. Just like poor people, eventually these man-bots will push back and cause trouble.
What if, tomorrow, a Kentucky scientist from the future transported back in time to the present to warn his or her ancestors of the dangers of this new endeavor?
Kentucky scientist of the future: “Your first mistake was giving the automaton a pickax. In 2009 the mine-bots learned that the plastic shields protecting the touring cars split like pudding skin under the slash of their mighty scythes.” (Followed by dramatic opening strains from “Dueling Banjos”)
Modern Kentucky resident: “Say, that is a purdy silver jumpsuit, hoss!” (Responds with echo chords from “Dueling Banjos”)
I told myself I wouldn’t use Southern stereotypes in this column, but there I went. In response, a’ la the Cold War classic novel and film “Fail-Safe,” I will unleash a stereotypical attack on my native Iron Range to negate retribution.
(Enter insightful, cultured Iron Ranger who has never at least casually considered moving elsewhere in a fit of frustration).
Said Ranger: “Hello! I do not exist!”
Again, let me clarify that I attack the Range only to avoid a full-scale stereotype war with the South. It was the only way. The only way.
Getting back to subject, the Portal 31 interpretive project in Lynch, Ky., is on track with several large public grants ranging from $500,000 to $1.2 million and some high hopes from local community leaders. I wish them well.
Meantime, I would advise local tourism officials to keep their eyes peeled on E-bay for some low-cost, Kentucky-based animatronic miners sometime a year or two from now. Perhaps with lower overhead, we can make the concept work here on the Iron Range.
Live and learn.
Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune.